Teens Heading Back To School? Success Tips For Both Teen and Parents

With kids heading back to school, learning is difficult under the best of circumstances. Parenting a teen is equally difficult. Now, combine the two during an election year in the midst of a pandemic with jobs disappearing, it certainly is a recipe for disaster, right? Without any experience, my daughter and I faced all the usual struggles as well as the added challenges. We learned some things along the way that helped both of us.

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Teens Heading Back To School? Redefine Success Regularly

Whether your student is in high school or college, there are both short and long term goals at play. Your goals for your child may be different than their own. Have a frank discussion about those goals.

It could be time to damper expectations as distance learning remains a challenge in and of itself. If, for example, your child was easily distracted before, that isn’t going to magically improve under a different set of circumstances. Likewise, that normally straight A student, may have had social outlets that are no longer available to them or are at the least disrupted. The pressure could become too much within the scope of distance learning, heading back to actual classrooms or even just the uncertainty of where learning will take place from week to week.

Reset the definition of success regularly. One thing that is predictable is that everything is essentially unpredictable. Adjusting is just par for the course and that could not be more true in the case of digital education, in class education and extracurricular activities.

Get Practical! Back To School Means New Schedules and Space Planning At Home

Getting the basics right could contribute more to success than lofty goals. Establish the following at a minimum:

1. Create a work space conducive to learning, away from their bedroom.
2. Make sure the space is comfortable, distraction free and has a few safeguards to limit disruptions. My daughter had a few signs that read: zoom class in session, studying for a test or writing a paper. This strategy works whether you are distance learning or heading back to the classroom.
3. Ensure speed and connectivity are up to the task of household learning. Upgrade your internet plan if necessary. Don’t worry, you will likely make up for the extra expense by a reduced budget on other items not needed during social distancing measures. This is especially true as students in our area are regularly learning both at home and at school as temporary exposure quarantines continue.

Step away from all the tech

1. Schedule regular schedules for breaks and meals. We tried to have lunch together whenever possible and chat.
2. Replace former PE classes or athletic team activities with a daily exercise routine out in the fresh air. When our beach was closed, we utilized our back patio. Hopefully, athletics will continue as the schools welcome back to students.

The Importance of Sleep For Teens: Sleeping In & A Slightly Later “Lights Out” Policy

Teens have different sleep requirements and patterns to those sleep cycles. Typically, adolescents and teens fall asleep at a later hour at night and tend to sleep later in the morning. According to UCLA Health, most teens need at least an average of nine hours of sleep. Consequently, waking up early is a great notion but for teens it can feel like a form of punishment. The same can be said for an artificially early bed time.

Within the scope of heading back to school or distance learning, the problem of sleep/wake cycles can be more pronounced. Fighting the natural order of those cycles can strain familial relationships in an already tense new school year.

Word of caution, though! Sleeping all day, social media cruising until the wee hours or all night video game sessions are even more counter productive than an occasional teen rebellion railing an early wake up.

Stay Involved and Adjust To Changing Situations Throughout The School Year

As a parent, we tend to loosen the reigns as our kids learn responsibility and demand more independence during the teen years. This still applies but there are some added caveats during home quarantines may still plague your school district. We developed our own methods slowly relaxing the rules but we included a few adjustments to our most frequent approaches.

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When They Head Back To School, Establish Distance Learning Rewards Rather Than Punishments

Holy Paletas in San Diego

Establish Common Ground

With multiple students under one roof and work schedules to contend with, we soon learned that the week can get away from everyone rather quickly.

We developed a common calendar for the week. It lived in our kitchen, the hub for our family. We have a glass door and use dry-erase markers. Dry-erase boards were in short supply at the beginning of the pandemic lockdowns so we improvised.

Having older kids, we all took turns with certain chores and cooking dinners. We negotiated swaps when things came up and had a common understanding of when and what we were doing for meals.

Yes, it seems like it’s all about food but in actuality it’s about working together and spending time together. Whoever was responsible for a meal was also responsible for the ingredients and coordinating shopping, online or in person, for those items. That person cooked and the rest of us cleaned up. This required conversations about what we wanted to eat (or didn’t) and occasionally cooking lessons.

What else was on the board? Class schedules, chores, exercise activities like yoga or weights on the back patio, free time, even movie or game nights. Intermittently, everyone also had work schedules. This routine and communication strategy continues even as the pandemic and education has evolved.

If you are interested in learning more about organization and time management at home, check out our post, How To Get More Done With 9 Easy Time Management Tips.

Expect An Occasional Blow Up

You should fully expect a rebellion at some point. In fact, if no one has a full blown meltdown, investigate what’s happening. It is completely natural to stress out, have outbursts or even go silent. Distance learning because of and in the midst of a pandemic is unprecedented. Remember …

1. You do not and will not have all the answers. Neither does your teen.
2. It is important to find joy, even if you have to look really hard, but don’t give up looking.
3. Check out from social media, television, conspiratorial or gloom and doom podcasts, long scary conversations with well meaning friends, whatever brings with it a dark cloud.
4. Lastly, remember “this too shall pass.”

Take The Opportunity To Teach Life Skills

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A Teen Daughter’s Point of View (POV) In Her Own Words

• “Having a separate area for school and a different space for my normal life really helps.”
• “I shut down school work after 7pm. It’s a hard cut off for me. It sets a schedule for me so I get work done earlier in the day. I am more tired evenings anyway.”
• “I do a mix of subjects each day, never all day on one subject so I don’t fry my brain.”
• “My mom gave me my space so I could maintain my train of thought and focus on my work.”

More Resources And Tips For Distance Learning And Heading Back To School

Background noise like music can help keep students focused during study hours and dedicated homework sessions. Music can also be very motivating! Investing in good quality ear buds or headphones is worth every penny, especially if you have multiple students under a single roof.

Have your student develop study groups. These are students within each classroom that can help each other work through technology and educational challenges. From homework to lectures to missed meetings, a dedicated group of students can help each other navigate within a new environment.

Two articles which have also been a terrific resource which are listed here:

• 10 Tips from Parents to Support Your Teen’s Remote Learning
• 40 Homeschooling Tools And Resources I Use (Almost) Every Day